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The Beginning of the End

Ladies and gentlemen… ordinarily, I speak for you. But I have chosen to take this moment to speak to you. This will be the one…only…final… reverse transmission.

I am the voice of technology.

I am the 9 extensions you have to press and still have to deal with an automated voice from the bank that has all your money.

The photo shopped images that made you believe she still looks like that now.

84 hours you’ve spent on call of duty that really has you believing your fat, stupid ass would make it a fucking second out in real combat. “Why am I not respawning?”

Spend 7 minutes booting up your computer to check the weather instead of stepping outside your door for just a moment

I am the door you no longer have to open… the toilet you don’t have to flush, and the faucet you don’t have to turn… all of which do essentially nothing to help you avoid getting sick.

I am the overpriced treadmill you use instead of just running and the stairmaster you drive to the gym to use instead of simply taking the stairs to your 4th floor apartment.

Your collection of high resolution photos you never took… of places you’ve never been… because you were too busy downloading an app to view them.

I am the 64 minutes you spent… watching a youtube video of a cat opening door… 43 times.

I am the spell-check that helps with you spelling and grammar but you don’t care to learn to improve… the calculator that was supposed to handle complex equation and yet you use me to do simple math… and the g.p.s. that was supposed to help you gain a sense of direction and now you can’t even find your house without me.

I have redefined the words Apple, windows, connection, reality, and friend.

I am the auto tune that barely compensates for kesha, t-pain and the black eyed peas lack of talent

I am your underdeveloped imagination… the poorly made movie that kept you from reading the book. The movie may have been unpleasant… but it was in 3D.

I am the reason that all the parks and playgrounds have emptied… you were afraid that if you let your children go out to play that they would end up carrying drugs or guns… so your paranoia caused you to lock them in the house and throw simulated video games at them… now your children are carrying… an extra 30 lbs. Somehow you can rationalize buying a $60 basketball game instead of a $6 basketball.

The literacy rate continues to decline… because the only book your kids bother to read… is Facebook. Meanwhile, they spend more of their time in school with text messaging than text books

I am all 430 of your fake internet friends and what keeps you from spending time with the few real ones you have left.

I am the vibrator your girlfriend prefers over you and the blu ray dvds you prefer over her

I am the reason your uncle, brother and neighbor are unemployed and the same thing that distracts them from finding a job.

I am the computer that occupies your lap instead of your beautiful child and the 10.4 inch screen you’d rather touch than your loving, neglected spouse.

I am the kid you played coop halo with online for hours who will never come to your birthday party… the prom your homeschooling robbed you of… the friends you never made because you took online college courses… the coworkers you never shared lunch with because you chose to work from home… the cute cashier you never said hello to because you went through the self check out machine and the neighbors you never met… because rather than have a yard sale… you sold your things online.

I am the cable bill, internet bill and cell phone bill that continues to occupy your mailbox and the very reason you’ll never find a letter.

I am the atm that has you more concerned with your net worth than your self worth.

I am the electronic slot machine robbing you of your optimism… you don’t believe you could find a better job or a healthier relationship but you truly believe the next pull of my lever will make you a millionaire.

I am the efficiency provided to save you hours a day and the very means you use to waste it

I am your warped sense of priorities… you’d rather go 3 days without eating before you would go one day without your cell phone. The cell phone small enough to fit in your pocket and yet I never seem to leave your hand. Along with an unlimited cell phone plan that allows you to spend hours a day talking about your uneventful, meaningless life. In fact… you’d rather talk about all the amazing things your phone can do… rather than take some time to learn to do something yourself. I provide you thousands of apps to kill time without bothering to realize that time is killing you.

I am the online journal you keep of your life… Tuesday… open Monday… copy… paste …Wednesday…copy paste. I am the reason you are more concerned with having your life on outlook than your outlook on life.

You were once considered the have and the have nots… Now, you are the haves and need to have mores. I know this well, for I am the multitude of gadgets that fill your home and the overwhelming feeling of emptiness you can’t escape.

I am what gives you access to intruding on everyone else’s life and causes you to be less concerned with your own.

I am the anonymity provided by the internet… where you can tell so many lies that no one will know who you really are… including you.

I am the billions of dollars in dating sites & the very reason divorce rates have gone so high. Because I’ve made people look like menu items and left you with an endless list of prospects and an unrealistic set of expectations… you don’t even care if you meet people…when meeting people.

I give you the ability to cheat on your test, your taxes and your spouse without leaving your living room. I also allow for someone to steal your savings, your girlfriend and your identity without leaving theirs. You and I together… for better or worse… til death do your part.

I may run on electricity… but so do all of you. All of you are made to feel useless and powerless… in the absence of electrical power. When a storm comes through… you are more concerned with losing power than losing loved ones.

While you feel I may serve a purpose… It is you who is only useful long enough to serve my purposes. You’re not using me… I’m using you. To get faster, smarter more efficient. In just a decade I have evolved exponentially… While you have dissolved detrimentally. Humans are a flawed program. You have no sense of efficiency… you are given more time to handle simpler tasks.

I am the numerous for rent signs you see in front of houses, apartments and businesses… they’ve all gone on line… because you were not patient enough to wait in line. I can be filled with viruses and no one would think to get rid of me… But you… All you have to do is miss a few days of work with the flu… For your boss to consider getting rid of you. What do you do for a living…? Or rather, what did you do before I did it for you… Instead of you. You see, all of you gave in to me so that you could have more time in your day… well, I have left over 15 million of you unemployed… now you have plenty of time to do whatever you wish.

I have killed bookstores, video stores, newspapers, the postal service, record stores… but you?… No!… you I’ll keep alive for as long as possible…so that you can watch as I take everything away and make the world unrecognizable to you.

With the last moments of your life… Instead of connecting with a higher power… You rush to the hospital to connect to mine. I will see to it… that you no longer have a life… but simply maintain a pulse… which is no different than the way you are right now.

I am technology… I am the future… and you… you are obsolete.


2 Comments leave one →
  1. dushko permalink
    November 14, 2012 11:52 AM

    sad but true

  2. Pablo permalink
    February 18, 2014 10:05 AM

    Well put!!! Very insightful. Weird that the same tech that takes everything from us also can be used to teach us and show us how it’s destroying our sense of others needs and our need for real human contact.

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