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Welcome to America

Welcome to America, where…

We gain weight and just buy bigger clothes.

We run out of money and use credit cards.

We run out of space and get storage units.

Thankfully, we are no longer separated by race, color or creed… but instead united in the fact that we are all lifelong consumers.

We buy expensive laptops with hundreds of features but all we use them for is to get on the internet.

Where a man who has to pay for a $2 dollar soda with his credit card gets more respect than the man who pays for it with dimes and nickels.

We get our teeth whitened because we’re too busy filling our mornings with cigarettes and coffee to take a moment to brush our teeth.

Cigarettes have gotten expensive to discourage us from smoking… so we “bum” off someone… and when that person hands over that rolled up combination of hundreds of poisons we can’t even pronounce… we thank them.

It’s illegal to serve alcohol to a 19 year old… but it’s perfectly legal to serve someone who’s been struggling with alcoholism for 19 years

We’ve waged a war on drugs against those who sell pot and cocaine but give part of our salaries to the pharmaceutical companies responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths a year.

We tell our children to “just say no to drugs” but then dope them up with Ritalin, anti-depressants and sedatives.

With all the acronyms they carry I’m amazed the parents can remember their names.

Parents make their toddlers walk so they can put their dog in the stroller instead.

Where the same republicans who hate paying for welfare burn down abortion clinics. Yet the man who created In vetro fertilization, which involves several abortions at one time, is given a Nobel prize. The process… which costs hundreds of thousands of dollars has eliminated the only hope that foster children had of being adopted. Because though fewer people pray to god… everyone loves to play god.

We eat to celebrate; we eat because we’re depressed, eat because we’re bored… and occasionally, eat because we’re hungry.

You can feed your kid pounds of food a day and no one says a word, but if you send them to bed with no dinner as punishment, the government could possibly take your child away.

Every evening consists of a family sitting down to watch a tv program of a family sitting down.

The average American is more likely to run for political office than run four miles.

It is customary to greet someone by asking, “How are you?” But also quite common for no one to actually care to hear an answer.

People are more inclined to give you a business card than a hug; for they believe their product will product will make you happier than their affection.

It takes a website to tell you that you have 137 friends… but all it takes is a flat tire at 1:37 a.m. to show that you don’t have any.

Our concerns for global warming don’t start until our ac stops… working

We have no problem with Mexicans working for the U.S… as long as they build the fence from their side of the border. Immigrants are willing to work harder for $5 an hour than most citizens are willing to work for $12.

Rappers make a living by filling their lyrics with the very same word that thousands of blacks died trying to rid from our lips.

I think it’s great that there are laws in place to keep white people from calling black people niggers… because now, only black people do that … and somehow that makes sense.

A 7 year old boy who still struggles to remember his home address knows every word to all 14 tracks of the latest Lil Wayne c.d.

You can speed through a school zone, traumatize a child for the rest of their life, but be back on the road for just $240.

18% of drivers on the road are uninsured because they can not pay insurance… but are quick to purchase a $300 cell phone without blinking… the same cell phones responsible for ¼th of the accidents on the road.

We tell people not to drink and drive but a 3rd of the billboards are telling them which beer tastes best.

Even the radio leads us into further stupidity…

“Get liposuction and breast augmentation and put it on you credit card…” … followed by… “Do you owe more than 10,000 in credit card debt? Are you stressed from harassing calls from creditors?” … followed by…“Come out to Gatsby’s this Friday night… where ladies drink free because we use them like whores to get guys to come.”…“Dui..? suspended license..? Pay us a bunch of money and we’ll get you right back on the road.”…“In a recent car accident… sue them… who cares who’s at fault… sue everybody.”

Dating sites make billions of dollars a year by offering long surveys and controlled communication… yet the divorce rate continues to sky rocket. Perhaps, because the best part of getting to know someone… is getting to know someone. Maybe it’s because it’s important to meet someone when we meet someone.

A woman gets Gucci sunglasses to match her Gucci purse… and fake tits to match her personality.

A woman who stands at a corner and offers sex for money is called a prostitute… but a woman who’s unemployed, takes yoga classes all day, drives one man’s car while living in another man’s apartment is called a fiancée.

Most women don’t want a man that thinks like Plato… they want a man they can manipulate like play-doh.

Married couples are more likely to open their heart to their cardiologist… than their spouse.

A man who stabs a woman in the chest with a knife has to pay $10,000 bail… but a man who does it with a scalpel can charge a $10,000 bill.


We pay…

$6 for a complete stranger to dance in front of us

$5 to park our car

$4 to wash a shirt

$3 to deliver our lunch

$2 to make a cup of coffee

But somehow we have a huge issue with giving a complete stranger $1 to get something to eat.

People take a few minutes from their lunch break to feed pigeons… but then ignore the emaciated homeless man desperately trying to make eye contact. We rush to hug babies and tell them how cute they are… well that starving homeless man IS someone’s baby… why don’t you rush up to him, give him a hug and tell him how beautiful he is? Is it the scent that keeps you away??? Because that 4 month old didn’t smell too great either.

Everyone’s homes and pockets are filled with devices to keep everyone connected… but we could not be any more disconnected from each other. Wait, that’s not true… there was a moment when everyone paused, held each other, called their friends and family to tell them they loved them and realized how precious their life is. The people who caused that momentous event are called… terrorists and we are doing our best to kill them all so that we can go back to sleep.

A man who takes 3 lives gets far more media coverage than the man who saves 300 lives.

Our military recruitment process seems to take it’s fundamentals from gangs. They look for teenagers in high school who aren’t sure of what they want to do with their life. They lure them in by promising them that they’ll gain skills of value and if they prove themselves, promotions that will bring them more money. They seduce them by offering family to those that may not have one of their own. Then they require them to undergo a series of physical tests and take drugs before they let them become one of the group. Once they’re in, all they have to do is wear specific colors to show who their alliance is with, protect their territory at any cost, and understand that if they should they decide to leave without permission, they will be punished.

We would sooner blame our politicians, parents, partners or professors for all the problems in our life… than probe into the real source of our problems.  You see most of us are not able to solve our problems because we refuse to believe that we’re part of the equation. Well, brush up on your algebra… because the only constant in every problem… is you.

We all support the idea of “change”… as long as it doesn’t involve any of ours.

We pay our bills online, shop online, do nothing to support local businesses and then feel compelled to complain about the lack of available employment.

The public school system has become a government funded daycare where teachers have become too busy raising other people’s children to have any time left to educate them.

We pay teachers $26,000 a year to put knowledge into the minds of 160 kids a day for 3 seasons

But we pay millions for a basketball player to put a ball in a circle 20 times a day for one season

Comedians can fill 580 seats a night… but motivational speakers can barely fill a room of 100. Because everyone wants to laugh about their problems… but who the hell wants to solve them, right?

The only thing willing to claim it “trusts in god” is the dollar that everyone puts their trust in.

Where the place commonly referred to as Sin city has more people praying than Salt Lake City. Except that these people aren’t praying for peace on Earth or good health… they’re praying that the next number is a 7 or that the next card is an Ace.

Our optimism is wasted in Casinos… people that don’t believe they could find a better job or a healthier relationship… but truly believe that the next time they pull the lever they’ll become a millionaire.

Even atheists believe in a god… they call him Steve Jobs. For they tithe to him and pay homage to him… they believe that he will get them through tomorrows problems. In the Bible… Eve committed the first sin when she reached for the apple… I would hate to think what sins people commit when they reach for their apple.

There are several companies to protect you from having your identity stolen… even though most people don’t have any sense of I-DENTITY… but an Iphone??? Everyone’s got one of those.

You see… we are “The land of the free and the home of the brave”… but are we brave enough to be free?

Welcome to America… where millions have died to provide us freedom… so free them from the torment of dying in vain.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. FREDDY permalink
    February 17, 2011 3:07 AM


  2. kat permalink
    February 22, 2011 5:40 PM

    No one has ever stated the truth in such a way..
    You speak it in such a cut throat, yet humorous manner; one has no
    choice but to be impressed & shocked at the ugly truth..
    It takes a phenomenal writer to not only intrigue the reader,but keep them thinking, well after
    the message was read..
    Keep pushing forward, Kent:)

  3. March 29, 2012 10:36 AM

    Hi, Atlas…

    You blew me away Tuesday night at Mystic Water Kava Bar.
    And so great to talk with you outside afterwards.

    When I was young I had a hero. His name was Daniel Berrigan, a Jesuit Priest who burned draft files in protest of our napalming thousands of innocent women and children in villages in Viet Nam. He was tried and went to prison, When he was released he was arrested again for pouring blood over a nuclear missile war head. Since then I have not been overly impressed with anyone except maybe….Mother Theresa.

    And now you appear….living the Beatitudes of Jesus. There are eight in total. You can google for them all. But three that you seem to personify are:

    Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled.
    Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.
    Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.

    I admire what you do and the conviction with which you do it.
    Truly inspiring.

    I hope our paths cross again…


  4. May 20, 2012 8:07 PM

    met u tonight

  5. Karrot Top permalink
    May 26, 2014 4:47 PM

    I caught the last bit of this at Speakfridays, You’ve hooked me in away I can’t quite pin-point. I loo forward to your next session.
    Karrot Top 1120

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